Please note: Submittable only displays categories that are open for submission. If you do not see a category, please reference the below reading periods for information on when you can submit.

Beginning May 2016, we began to pay feature writers and book reviewers. Each month, we set aside $300. All eligible contributors are able to opt in for payment at the end of the month, and the money is divided between those writers who opt in. We know that this amount is not enough, and we are always working toward being able to pay a standard industry rate to all feature contributors and book reviewers.

We are often overwhelmed by the breadth and quality of our submissions. To allow our volunteer editorial staff better handle the workload and respond to your work in a more timely fashion, we've instituted reading periods for certain sections of The Rumpus. 

Our regular reading periods for Essays are as follows: September 1 through October 31, January 1 through February 28, and June 1 through July 31. Timely essays can be sent directly to our managing editor Marissa Korbel at mkorbel@therumpus.net; all other essays should be sent through Submittable during our open reading periods.

We will not be opening for our September-October essay reading window in 2021. Our next reading period for essays will be January 1 through February 28, 2022.

Please note that at The Rumpus “timely” means the essay will be published within a few weeks. Timely essays are those that are tied to a specific date (e.g. an upcoming holiday or anniversary); we are not considering essays about the pandemic through inbox. Agents and publicists: we strongly prefer that writers submit their own work to us. The Rumpus has an exceptional and diverse editorial team; bypassing Submittable results in fewer readers and editors looking at your work.

Our Rumpus Original Fiction reading periods are January 1 through January 31 and July 1 through July 31.

Our Rumpus Original Poetry reading periods are January 15 through January 31 and July 15 through July 31.

The ENOUGH series is on hiatus and not currently accepting new submissions. We will reopen submissions again in the future, and will run already-accepted submissions as soon as possible.

Please do not submit the same piece to multiple categories at the same time. All work must be previously unpublished. This includes personal blogs and social media. Please only send one submission to a given section at a time; when we've responded with a decision, you are welcome to submit to that section again.

Interview pitches and finished interview submissions are accepted year-round and should be sent directly to our Interviews team (interviews@therumpus.net). We are no longer using Submittable for interviews. 

Our Book reviews and Poetry Book Reviews sections are currently closed for submissions, and will reopen in fall 2021.

Response time can vary from a few days to a few months. Please allow 3 months before sending status queries for essays, book reviews, and ENOUGH. Please allow 8 months before sending status queries for fiction, poetry, and our Funny Women column. Your patience is appreciated.

The Rumpus supports and stands with Black Lives Matter. You can learn more, and access BLM-endorsed strategies to enact change locally and worldwide, at blacklivesmatters.carrd.co.

Dear Writers,

So, you’ve decided you’re a woman or non-binary writer and would like to submit to Funny Women. Out of all decisions, this is the best one you can make.

Submit:
Direct your entry below. Then immediately follow me on Twitter.

Length:
The ideal piece is finished/polished, revised at least 3x, and between 650 and 1,000 words. I do not accept pitches or sexts.

Content:
While humor is grounded in truth, we do not accept personal essays/stories/anecdotes.

Send evergreen over timely pieces (holiday themes, weather, politics, etc.) because it often takes months to read a submission after you've written, revised, and submitted it.

Also, no pop culture (celebrities, TV shows, top 40, etc.), as much as I enjoy it. 

Note: "short conceptual humor" is different than "short fiction." Please, no short stories.

My favorite submissions are literary and feminist at the same time. 

Cover letters:
Not necessary, but why not tell me a little about yourself and throw some compliments the column's way? The Rumpus aims to create a community of writers, and that means getting to know each other.

(You should know it's 10x harder to pass on your submission if your cover letter is super nice and exudes confidence + evidence you've read/loved the column.)

Formatting:
No tricked-out formatting that tells me something about your soul. Keep it simple and readable.

To include in your submission:
Title of submission, your name, email address, website (if you have one), and favorite piece of writing by someone who is not a straightwhitecisman.

Author bios:
Please! Even if you've never been published (and who cares if you haven't), you can still reveal the city where you live and if you have any pets.

Previously published work:
Nope. Send original pieces—not archived blog entries.

Payment:
Confirmation that you have in some way changed the world’s mind about who’s funny. (You'll get a little money, but keep your expectations low. Lower than that.)

Response time:
I have anxiety dreams and lifelong guilt that I don’t get back to you when you think I should. Please understand I receive hundreds of submissions and have a day job. Response time varies—between two minutes and eight months. I know. Forgive me. Have patience. I care about you.

Assistant Regional Funny Women Sarah Garfinkel & Jennie Egerdie read submissions before I do, which has transformed the submission process. 

Reasons you might not hear back:
None. I’m not heartless. If you don’t hear back after eight months, then I didn’t get to your submission. Follow up with me.

How many pieces may I submit at once?

One. Wait until you hear back on one piece to submit another, and (this is me helping you) don't submit a new piece the moment after a non-acceptance (instead reflect on why your first piece wasn't a fit for the column and how to improve the second).

Some reasons I might not choose your piece to appear on Funny Women:
--You wrote a poem.
--You wrote a personal essay or short story.
--You submitted a list or a piece eerily resembling a list.
--You submitted an illustration/comic/piece under 10 words.
--You satirized in the wrong way.
--You began: “This is not a love story.”
--You began: “This is a love story.”
--You had five or more grammatical mistakes.
--You thought you wrote something feminist, but you really wrote something racist.
--You didn't read or adhere to the submission guidelines.
--Maybe I am heartless.
--Your submission wasn't a short humor submission.
--You believe feminism = hating cis men or anything other than political, economic, and social equality for all people and cute animals.
--You don’t believe in yourself and your dreams.

If your piece is not published at this time:
Do not take it personally, which is something I'd do.

Help:
Here are some writing tips. Here are some writing prompts

Please direct any additional questions or snide remarks to: funnywomen AT therumpus.net.

Visit elissabassist.com if you're interested in what I look like or want to take a humor writing class with me.

I look forward to our future friendship.

Submit to Rumpus Comics here! 

We consider series and miniseries proposals (please include at least one completed installment with your submission), as well as standalone comics for our Spotlight series. What do we look for in a Comics submission? The best way to get a sense of what we love is to look through what we've been publishing: therumpus.net/sections/comics.

Please note we can only consider work that is previously unpublished—this includes personal blogs, websites, and social media. And, as shared in our general guidelines, please only submit once to any given category of the magazine. When you've received a decision, you are welcome to submit again.

We receive a tremendous amount of Comics submissions, and we appreciate your patience in waiting to hear from us. If you haven't received a decision within eight months of submitting, please feel welcome to query regarding submission status.

We do allow simultaneous submissions; please let us know if your work is accepted elsewhere by withdrawing your submission through Submittable.